MISS CLEO
DUMPS FEO

The Horror!
Miss Cleo left me and sailed into the arms of my friend!
I knew I had done the wrong thing when I repeatedly made fun of Miss Cleo's attentions.
Don't hate me for the way I treated her though! Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!
Why should I have to be the recipient of unwanted female desires?
I have my rights!

At any rate, Miss Cleo is trying to make me jealous by scamming on my bud, Horror editor and writer Brian Knight. She could have gone after a stranger, but no: She wants me to hear about it! Don't believe me? Just check out the suspicious e-mail she sent him!

	Dear Brian, Finally, we're able to reach you! Brian, we have some very important information about your future. We occasionally have visions or dreams about people that have contacted us, but we can't be absolutely sure until we read your Tarot cards! Brian, I do know for sure that you're going to encounter an opportunity that could change your whole life! Now could be your best chance, I think you know what we're talking about... You could be very, very lucky! In fact, I'm going to authorize a totally FREE Tarot reading with one of my finest, so that we can discover exactly what's going on! Call this reserved toll-free number right now: 1-800-980-8670. Time is short and passing quickly! Call now and get in touch with me morning, afternoon, sunset or late at night! When you call, give us these special codes: Personal pin number: 77409 Identification number: 008 Brian, please do not share these numbers or my extension number with anyone! I'm trusting you! Call this number immediately and let's get to the heart of what's going on in your life: 1-800-980-8670 - remember - this call is FREE! With love, hope & much respect. Miss Cleo Must be 18+. For entertainment purposes only. If you do not wish to receive email from MeMailDirect, please click or copy and paste the following address into your browser: http://nexus.etracks.com/cgi-bin/apt?9XoXXXfSq8QMLfjp8BiKXr1cZzJp

Notice that "Finally, we're able to reach you!" bit? Yeah, right! Everybody who has been to this section knows that Cleo has been begging for the Feo!

Now she says she's been "dreaming" about Brian! HA! That girl needs to get some new lines, I'm telling ya! And that whole part about how she "can't be absolutely sure until we read your Tarot cards!"

Don't fall for it Brian! And if she wants to see your future, tell her to read her OWN damn Tarot cards! She's rich! Why should you have to bring your own?

Don't be coy, Miss Cleo. We know what you're hinting at when you say "I think you know what we're talking about..." Riiight . . . wink! wink! nudge! nudge! Sex, obviously! I wouldn't let you play with "Lester" so now you wanna play in my house with Brian.

And of course, Miss Cleo goes on to say "please do not share these numbers or my extension number with anyone! I'm trusting you!" i.e.: "Don't tell Feo about this!" HA! I just bet! Of course she wanted this to get back to me.

Dig the hackneyed "I'm trusting you." routine. Sure, sure. I've heard that before. Every psycho nutcase who has ever entered my life has tried to Shanghai my heart with that helpless "I'm Trusting you" gag! Time to pull that line out of the Veggie drawer, woman. It's so old it's growing hair.

But of course, her true psycho/psychic nature is revealed when she signs off, telling Brian,
"With love, hope & much respect.
Miss Cleo"
I mean, Brian says that he doesn't even know her and she sure as hell don't know him! So where is this love and respect thing? And just what is she hoping for, eh? (SEX!) If she did love him and she was psychic, she'd know he was happily married. Isn't this the same woman who keeps clucking her tongue over gals who mess with married men?

THE BIG KISS-OFF

Go get some therapy, Miss Cleo. You need some serious help, daaaaaarlin'.
In the meantime, this is Horror, these are my friends, and this is my house, Get Owwt!

(Notice I didn't say BITCH?)

Stop walkin' down my street /
Don't come around here no more! /
Who do you expect to meet?
- Tom Petty

Go to Page 1
MISS CLEO SPAMS FEO!
Miss Cleo has been moved by her exciting dreams about me 3 times since October 15.

Go to Page 2
MISS CLEO DREAMS OF FEO!
Miss Cleo has felt my Vibrations 2 times since October 10.
Oct. 10, Oct. 19

Go to Page 3
MISS CLEO SPAMS FEO - REDUX!
Miss Cleo has spammed me times in October. Oct. 10, Oct. 15, Oct. 17, Oct. 23, Oct. 25

Go to Page 5
MISS CLEO RETURNS!
B.K. wouldn't give Miss C. no lovin' so she comes crawling back to me.
Too bad she forgot my name.

Miss Cleo spammed me 6 times in October. Oct. 10, Oct. 15, Oct. 17, Oct. 23, Oct. 25, Oct. 27.
She has spammed my buddy Brian Knight on Nov 20 and now she's back to grabbing my ass, Dec 9, 2001

Go to Page 6
MISS CLEO IS DEAD!
The case has now been finalized by the FCC against the woman who cyber stalked me back in 2001. Yep, I'm talking about the phony-psychic phony-Jamaican telling-lies-about-yer-sweetie, Miss Cleo.