So you want to contribute to feoamante.com? Coolness!

I'm looking for folks who are mad about Horror, Thriller, Mystery, and Suspense.

Whether you really dig gory Horror books or subtle Mysteries, whether you love Crime Thriller Comics or Science Fiction Suspense movies, or perhaps you just love movies that are so twisted and bizarre they defy categorization, you have found your home.

REVIEWS:

This is how we do it. Speak knowledgeably on the subject (see? You don't even have to be smart! You can be an utter moron and still write for this site as long as you are knowledgeable!). The best reviews give a background and history of the musicians, writers, directors, actors, artists, (all depending on what you are writing about of course) of the subject, as well as the subject itself. Do not reveal spoilers. There is a big difference between describing a particular scene out of context and telling folks the entire movie or story, encapsulated.

Keep in mind that the Internet is world wide, so availability is a factor in reviews.

BOOKS: In Story Time we rate on the Bookwyrm scale and only review books that are still in print. Period.

MOVIES: In Movies we rate on the Shriekgirl scale and only review movies that will soon be released, or are in theatrical release or on DVD. Period.

COMICS: In Comics we rate on the Fanboy scale and only review comics within 6 months of their release. We review graphic novels that are still in print.

MUSIC: In Music we rate on the Perplex skull scale and only review albums/CDs/DVDs within 1 year of their release. We review older Music that has been upgraded in someway: digitized, restored, remastered, things of that nature.

* Reasonable is every two weeks, or once a month - steady. Unreasonable is tomorrow, then 2 months from now, then 6 months from now. Unreasonable is also keeping what I sent you - or a publisher sent you on my behalf - and writing a review on it for someone else. Then asking for more review copies from ME because "At least I got the word out, didn't I?" Unreasonable is also sending me old reviews of something you wrote for someone else - without letting me know that they were published elsewhere - and hoping you can trick me into regurgitating it for you. Seems rudely obvious to mention this, right? And yet the reason I put this up here is because there are a number of so-called "professional" writers who've tried to pull off these stunts.

If you write five acceptable reviews within a reasonable* period of time, I'll send you media for further reviews. Depending on where you live, I may also ask you to attend a World Premiere screening of a movie or give you limited edition books to review or even ask you to attend an actual movie shoot.

To be a reviewer you must submit a 300jpg headshot photo of yourself, preferably in color. Please keep the memory of the pic down to 100k or less. If you have a website, include that information. Remember, the review is more than just your writing, it's a way to promote yourself AND your writing.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO PROMOTE YOURSELF HERE! You're not getting paid and you're not getting laid so BE SEEN! That's what me and all of the contributors are all about. Just promote your talent, and not your ego.

We rate from one to five in the following way

5: YOU NEED THIS!
4: Pretty damn good!
3: Not bad!
2: Why did they do this?
1: KILL THIS THING BEFORE IT BREEDS!

For movies we also have a thing called Negative Shriek Girls. For those movies which are so bad they're good! 5 Negative Shriek Girls is also the best. THE TOXIC AVENGER has 5 Negative Shriek Girls.

How long should the review be?

Write to the end, then stop. Our visitors LOVE trivia though, and the more info you can come up with on your subject, the better.

Also keep in mind that we are reviewers here, not critics. I prefer to tell folks what is best, not waste my time setting up one web page after another on what is crap. Of course, from time to time crap will appear by major artists and we just have to deal with it. Oh well.

Sometimes we also get crap by folks just starting out. We don't trash them. We just don't say anything at all.

Above all, be honest. Your sincerity will be seen, admired, or slammed in message boards throughout the net.

feoamante.com is one of the fastest growing non-corporate Horror websites on the net. So remember that you WILL be seen!

FAQ
Will you publish old reviews of mine that I have posted elsewhere on the Internet?
NO. NEVER.

Have I forgot anything? Probably. Ah hell with it anyway. Have fun and impress me!

-Feo

Of course, perhaps you are one of those people who have become SO used to editors talking down to you or making you feel like a moron, that you just HAVE to have more information, even though it may be largely repetitive. Or perhaps you just want to see a page in a different format. Who knows. Whatever blows yer skirt up. If you want to read more guidelines that basically say the same thing as this - but written differently - then go to Writer's Guidelines.