Yes, Post Halloween gloom affects a lot of Horror Thriller writers. It's kind of hard to kick start the scares when yer in line at the bank or mall and hearing the Manhatten Transfer rape the 12 Days Of Christmas for the 37th time.
That's why you have me, and this is what I have for you! Horror Thriller story ideas!
These Horror Thriller story ideas are time tested sure-fire hits. Their beauty lies in the fact that every editor and movie studio will swear up and down that they don't want them, then go on to publish or produce at least 15 of them in the coming year!
So let's all lap up the final dregs of gravy at the bottom of the train and bid another Horror Thriller phase goodbye.
First some context: In 1975, Steven Spielberg hit his stride with JAWS. JAWS started with a gimmick that really worked. The 5 minute gotcha! Something has to happen in the first five pages of a script that will hold the viewers attention during the boring part of the movie, that is, the setup. So Chrissie gets naked and runs into the water and gets eaten by a shark, all in the first five minutes. Serves her right for getting naked! As far as I can tell though, the 5 minute gotcha started in 1954 with GODZILLA. But you know what? In both cases, that 5 minute gotcha WORKS! It is directly related to the very next thing that happens in the story, not wedged in somewhere later on for filler. Spielberg did the same thing for JURASSIC PARK and MINORITY REPORT. That first 5 minute gotcha doesn't stand alone as an appendage to the story, it IS the story. Everything that comes after is directly related to that first Fiver.
Wes Craven followed suit right around the same time so Steve and Wes basically created the formula in movies as did writer James Herbert^ in novels, and it works for them. Yet SO many lesser writers and directors have imitated with SO many lesser works that the formula has dried to paste. They have a 5 or 10 page gotcha, and then go about the rest of the story only generally (or never at all) referencing that opening scene. Oh sure, the killer or monster reappears, but the opening scene otherwise had no effect on the story and often the varmint doesn't make a second appearance until sometime around midway in the book/movie.
That sucks!
John Carpenter never uses an formula like that and neither did Alfred Hitchcock. Dean Koontz and Richard Laymon never depended on any formula and neither does Peter Straub^. They had their own way of doing things.
So here are some ideas that editors, publishers, and studios will swear up and down that they don't want, then will go ahead and publish and produce anyway, rejecting all else. And remember: When they've totally turned us off to their crap, they will proclaim with the gravitas of experts that "Horror is dead".
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1: The Mortal Maniac Killer - Single Human
In the first 5 minutes of this story/movie, a teenager or two gets killed for no explicable reason, likely after sex or the suggestion that he or she or both have had sex.
Anywhere from 24 hours to 24 years later, a bunch of teens are brutally hunted down in their home town by a serial killer for no apparent reason. Gasp! That stranger in the first five minutes has returned!
Various teens get killed immediately after sex until the killer runs out of steam and disappears in time for the next sequel.*
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1a: The Mortal Maniac Killers - Many Humans
In the first 5 minutes of this tale, a girl is brutalized after enjoying her first taste of adult freedom away from the folks.
Anywhere from 24 hours to 24 years later, a bunch of teens are brutally hunted down in a backwoods locale, then tortured and killed for no apparent reason - other than the pleasure of the killers. Various teens get killed immediately after sex or merely appearing sexual. Various people get killed right after, or during sex until the maniacs are whittled down to one that escapes in time for the next sequel. One girl survives, saving no one. If a lone guy survives, then the story is labeled misogynistic.*
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1b: The Mortal Maniac Killers - Many Varmints
In the first 5 minutes of this story/movie, a young person or two gets killed for no explicable reason, likely after sex or the suggestion that he or she or both have had sex.
Anywhere from 24 hours to 24 years later, a bunch of people are brutally hunted down in their home town by a mess of varmints for no apparent reason. Evil local government officials ignore the peril until its too late. They may have accidentally created it along with an Evil scientist. If an Evil Corporation is involved, then the scientist is downgraded from Evil to Stupid. Local government may also be victim of Evil Big Government.
Various people get killed right after, or during sex until the varmints are whittled down to one that escapes in time for the next sequel. One girl survives, saving no one. If a lone guy survives, then the story is labeled misogynistic.*
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1c: The Immortal Maniac Killer - Supernatural
In the first 5 minutes of this tale, a girl is brutalized and murdered. Period.
Anywhere from 24 hours to 24 years later, a bunch of teens are brutally hunted down in their town, then tortured and killed because the Killer was a bad kid growing up; or accidentally saw his parents having sex; or knew his sister was having sex; or saw two dogs having sex; or is unable to have sex, or someone took his secret decoder pog. Various teens get killed immediately after sex or merely appearing sexual. The killer is hit, clubbed, beat with a bat (the baseball bat kind) poked, whacked, shot, stabbed, set on fire, blown up, decapitated twice, melted in acid or hot liquid, burned to ash, ash is vaporized, vapor is atomized, atoms are poured in molten iron, all to no avail: he keeps coming until he disappears in time for the next sequel.*
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HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1d: The Immortal Maniac Killer - Science
In the first 5 minutes of this tale, a member of someone's staff is snuck up upon and murdered. Period. Once the killer is revealed, it will seem extraordinarily unlikely that the maniac could possibly sneak up on anyone.
Anywhere from 24 hours to 24 years later, a bunch of twenty somethings are brutally hunted down in their town / place of work / or the haunted house down the street which is really a secret lab run by
a: Evil / Stupid U.S. Scientists
b: Evil
U.S. Corporation
c: Evil U.S. Government
d: Evil / Stupid Scientists working for an Evil Corporation that makes its money from an Evil Government.
The Killer is a victim him/her self because of the machinations of the Evil something or others. The killer is hit, clubbed, beat with a bat (the baseball bat kind) poked, whacked, shot, stabbed, set on fire, blown up, decapitated twice, Broken into pieces, melted in acid or hot liquid, burned to ash, ash is vaporized, vapor is atomized, atoms are poured in molten iron, all to no avail: he keeps coming until there is only one female survivor left. If its a male survivor, critics will deem the story misogynistic. At least one Stupid Scientist will want to study it - not destroy it. At least one representative of the Evil U.S. Government or Corporation will want to destroy it before the press finds out. Monster will be destroyed but Evil entities will remain for the next sequel where they will do the same thing again.*
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HORROR THRILLER Scenario 2: Supernatural
In the first 5 minutes of this tale, someone will die or at least be spooked for no apparent reason. Anywhere from 24 hours to 24 years later, a new person or group of people will buy or rent or involve them self (selves) with a cursed something. The something is immaterial. It can be a new apartment, house, car, ring, lock of hair, or even a person. But the person(s) is/are isolated by their circumstances. Inconvenient things will happen ranging from electrical appliances that fail to work properly, to doors and cabinets that fail to open or close properly. If this is a movie, loud crashing music "stings" that the person in the movie can't possibly hear, will substitute for scares. Sounds of echo-ye bricks hitting the floor will occur every time an out of focus someone passes by, even if that someone turns out to be friend, family, or pet. If this is a story you are writing, you'll have to work harder for the scares: No sound effects for you! The Father or Father figure will die or be rendered unhelpful in the act of saving the child/children. The Mother or Mother figure will save at least one of her children, but if one, then only the one that deserves it. If both are already dead, then she'll stay with them.
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 3: Science
In the first 5 minutes of this tale, someone will die or at least see something explode for no apparent reason. Amazingly, Science Fiction Horror Thriller stories are the simplest because nearly all Horror Thriller writers know as much about science as the 2004 Kansas Board of education. On those rare occasions when a Science Fiction writer decides to write a Horror Thriller story, you get a much richer and more complex story. Also, because most Horror Thriller writers are so blithely ignorant of the most basic, fundamental science (i.e. reality), they invariably look upon it as evil and add a supernatural element. They can't help themselves, they are clueless. So here are the Horror Thriller Science stories as written by Horror Thriller authors.
3a: An alien life form enters a human environment and is very friendly. Unfortunately, some kindly folks must save it from an Evil U.S. Corporation that may be working with the Evil U.S. Government! The alien must go to its galaxy hopping rescue ship, which will appear only for a Ronco Moment (for a limited time only) at a place anywhere from one to 1,000 miles from where the alien is - but never appear exactly where the alien is. The alien helps the humans save it by using Supernatural Powers! Those Supernatural powers will turn out to be SO damn powerful that you will wonder why the alien life form needed saving in the first place.
OR
3b: An alien life form enters a human environment and is very UNfriendly. Unfortunately, it kills some kindly folks while the EVIL U.S. Government tries to cover it up so an EVIL corporation can use the alien to make Evil Capitalist money. Said money usually involves a weapons program or a line of action figures or both. The alien thwarts the Evil U.S. whatevers by using Supernatural Powers!
The good guys defeat the alien by using it's Supernatural Powers against it, often involving a mirror or something shiny.
OR
3c: An alien life form enters a human environment and is very UNfriendly.
Unfortunately, it kills some kindly folks while the EVIL U.S. Government tries to cover it up and destroy the unfriendly alien before it can kill more people. The alien may or may not have a misunderstood reason (though never a good reason) for being homicidal (that overworked "twist" may be considered creative, so tread lightly). But representatives of the Evil U.S. Government will attempt to destroy the alien by racing the varmint to see who can kill the most people first. This is done because the cover-up is more important than human lives, even though the cover-up exists to save human lives. This ridiculous plot device on the part of the writer is glossed over with the introduction of a Colonel or one star General who gets involved and is inexplicably koo koo berries. Humanity will be saved by a supernaturally huge plot hole.
OR
3d: Evil / Stupid Scientists, working with an Evil Government will bring about a world wide holocaust, making way for Supernatural aliens to try and dominate the earth. Local Yokels who are not scientists but have liberal art degrees will save the day or die trying. Noble high school graduates, old folks, and minorities will heroically throw their bodies into harm's way so that the coffee shop crowd can get away. High school drop-outs and trailer trash will join the remaining Evil Scientists and Evil Government Representatives in welcoming our Evil Supernatural Masters.
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 4: The Usual Suspects
Vampire: Blood sucker enjoys being a vampire but is or was deeply, sexually, in love with an item on the buffet table.
Werewolf/Wolfman: Guy/gal is all messed up about being a werewolf and not fitting in with humans.
ZOMBIES -
Subcategory A -
Mummy: Zombie doesn't enjoy being dead and is morose over a curse related broken heart.
Subcategory B -
Reanimated: Reanimated human is looking for friends and love.
Subcategory C - Just Plain Zombie: Uhhh. Uhhh. Uhhh.
And remember above all else: While most writers are substance abusers, substance abusers are never heroes in these stories and are often an accomplice of the bad guys. And if your story has a writer as your hero, then your name damn well better end in King or Koontz!
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Now if you look at what I've wrote and think that I've unfairly covered every possible story scenario that could exist, then you are probably one hell of a super sucky writer, editor, or publisher. Still, you may have your fans so enjoy them! What the hell? Who cares?
If you are a Studio boss and think that I've unfairly covered every possible story scenario that could exist, then you are probably pretty damn sucky at your job. Which explains why the movies you - or worse - your marketing department greenlight, TANK! (For a fascinating look at how movie marketing departments befoul everything they touch, watch episodes of Project Greenlight)
Still, there may be a small group of fans out there for your stuff so focus on a Troma or Full Moon budget and follow your bliss!
And if you choose to go the "Validation by authority" route in questioning me, let me ask you, as your profits slip into the toilet: Who do you think buys the bulk of your "product"? Your expert in office 12A or the millions of Horror Thriller fans like me? And since we are a huge fan base - the largest and most successful conventions cater to us - and we aren't buying your crap, then what does that say about you and your two-bit experts?
Kelly Parks and I have discussed this quite a bit.
Feo Amante |
INTRODUCING: A STANDARD, SUB-INTELLIGENT, TROGLYDITE PLOT DEVICE FOUND IN EVERY STUPID SCIFI/HORROR MOVIE YOU'LL EVER SEE OUT OF HOLLYWOOD IN THE LAST 30+ YEARS:
Mutant monsters are attacking a bunch of people! But where did they come from? We take you now to an underground bunker!
SCIENTIST: These creatures are the result of a genetic mishap! The evil (U.S.) government agency I work for, in conjunction with an evil (U.S.) corporation wanted to create a super warrior.
COLONEL: I'd just like to say that a bunch of politicians voted for this. The military just wanted better guns, missiles, and jets.
SENATOR: I believe that my constituents, working on behalf of the downtrodden, would prefer a super warrior to such armament, general!
HERO: A super warrior? To fight who? We don't have super enemies.
SENATOR: I believe this esteemed scientist has the answer.
SCIENTIST: Um ... yeah. Well ... I don't know.
HERO: I mean, lots of countries already have nukes. What's the point of a super warrior? Hand to hand combat is nearly outdated.
SCIENTIST: Yeah ... but ... but they paid well.
SENATOR: Ahem, well, the committee WAS bi-partisan.
HERO: O-kay... |
Kelly Parks |
TRAILER: "The govenment created the perfect weapon,
but before it can be used on our enemies,
it has to be tested...
...
on us!"
Clearly the Weinstein influence: Evil monsters? Blame Bush. |
Feo Amante |
HERO: Can these creatures even fly sophisticated jets or use sophisticated weaponry?
SCIENTIST: Not as such, no. But they are as agile and deadly as a Tiger!
HERO: Then why not just use trained tigers?
SENATOR: Hmmm... Trained tigers.
SCIENTIST: The agency had full health and dental coverage too. You don't get that at just any job, you know.
HERO: I don't believe this crap!
SCIENTIST: Look! I just work there, okay? We were told to make the perfect weapon!
HERO: Perfect weapon? Then we're talking hi-tech, right? So then these creatures have GPS tracking? Great! So we have the means of tracking them!
SENATOR: Well, no. They don't have that. The committee felt that GPS tracking was an unfair advantage over our enemies so ...
HERO: But some form of tagging or tracking or other communication device, right? We can communicate with them?
SCIENTIST: Not really.
HERO: Christ! What the hell are they perfect for, then? |
Kelly Parks |
All good questions. |
Feo Amante |
SCIENTIST: Fighting in hand to hand combat! Fisticuffs! And they are bullet proof!
HERO: So who the hell are they supposed to fight? Gangbangers?
SENATOR: And third world peasants! Those peasants can cause no end of trouble!
(FeoNote: You know, a perfect weapon is a device that can render your enemy's weapons inoperable. Anything less than that isn't perfect. And I don't think a hulking biological organism with a mouthful of teeth is going to fill the bill.) |
Kelly Parks |
No. A bear is a hulking biological organism with a mouthful of teeth and can be quite dangerous under the right conditions. But an armed man is far more dangerous and will make short work of the bear. |
Feo Amante |
Quite!
I mean, sending this perfect weapon out against a houseful of unarmed teenagers is clearly not a GOOD test of it's capabilities. |
Kelly Parks |
That was another cool thing about TREMORS. The creatures were tough until they broke into the wrong god damn rec room!
Actually in (one really stupid) edit of FEAST, it's a bar full of drunken ne'er-do-wells. |
Feo Amante |
I can imagine whose brain-dead idea that was. I'm glad it got killed before the final DVD version.
SCIENTIST: Now let's test our perfect weapon against a barful of drunken ne're do-wells!
COLONEL: I'd rather test it against a squadron of enemy soldiers armed to the teeth. And for the record, when we asked for the perfect weapon, we didn't have a mutant monster in mind.
SCIENTIST: Well what the military wants and what the Commander-In-Chief - Colonel - approves are two different things. According to the work order, the President asked for the perfect weapon, i.e. Mutant Monster, to fight against a bar full of drunks. See? Right there. Ne'er-do-wells, underlined.
COLONEL: Hm. Ahem, well in my defense, I'd just like to say that, I didn't actually vote Democrat.* |
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Now mass market publishers insist that they are looking for something new in Horror Thrillers. Can you think of one story, by a new writer, that has been published in the last 20 years that doesn't follow these worn out tropes? Keep in mind that the really big name Horror writers like King, Koontz and Straub, can write whatever the hell they please: they've been at this awhile and only a full bore fool would choose the benighted opinion of a marketing graduate, who really doesn't "get" Horror Thrillers, over an established pro. Rice and Hamilton write only subgenre Vampire soap operas and each novel adheres to a strict formula. Barker and Gaimen dabble in Horror Thrillers but for the last decade or so are mainly into fantasy and dark fantasy. So these folks are out of the gene pool of new writers. No. Publishers are definitely NOT looking for anything new. So writing a story using these ancient and decrepit plots (plots as in graveyard) should insure your success!
And as for the bulk of you publishers and editors (not all but certainly most)? There is a reason why small press and self-publishing have both lost their "taint" and become a formidable force in book sales: That reason is your years of extraordinarily poor judgment.
But what if you are writing for Hollywood? It's the same thing.
If you are Spielberg then there is no reason to change since you were the vanguard of the formula and can do it better than anyone. If you're Quentin Tarantino or Robert Rodriguez then you've never had a flop, you fund your own movies through your own companies, you make your films independently, experiment like mad, dare the studios to so much as blink at you, and only need a distributor (at this stage) so you can do whatever the hell you want.
Hollywood studios insist that they are looking for new ideas in Horror Thrillers!
Are they now?
These are the studios and their Horror Thriller offerings in production for 2007.
Miramax/Dimension Films
CELL: Scenario 3d - Stephen King's zombie story where people are horribly affected by technology.
HALLOWEEN: Scenario 1b - Miramax' fourth in a series of HALLOWEEN sequels.
GRINDHOUSE: QT and RR doing whatever the hell they want.
Universal Pictures
THE TURNING: Scenario 2: Supernatural - A woman goes to care for two orphan children at an isolated place. Supernatural things haunt the children who might be already dead.
DEAD SILENCE: Scenario 2: Not enough info at this time to determine Supernatural or Science
Paramount
Nothing
20th Century Fox
(only sequels for 2007)
WRONG TURN 2: Scenario 1a. Reality Show is taped in the backwoods.
ALIENS vs PREDATOR 2: Scenario 3b. Aliens and Predators descend on a small isolated town and mess around.
MGM
SPECIES IV: Scenario 3b. If you've seen one you've seen them all.
BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE:
Scenario 4. Werewolf girl falls in love with human.
LIONSGATE
SAW IV: Scenario 1a - same story as all that came before.
So there you go gang! Unproductive, uncreative formula is your secret for success. Try nothing new, no new plots or scenes, not even new character development or motivation! Don't take chances!
2007 is going to be YOUR year!
However, if you decide to buck the experts and the trends and write something startlingly new and original anyway, tell me when it gets published so I can go and buy it!
* And in case you think I'm being unduly harsh to Democrat politicians (but really, how can you be?), keep in mind that these self-styled geniuses actually think this hackneyed plot line reflects the real world! I'll prove it. Just substitute "Bush Administration" for "Evil (U.S.) Government", and substitute, "Halliburton" for "Evil (U.S.) Corporation", and you'll see that Democrat politicians have been spending WAY TOO much time on their ass watching late night Lorenzo Lamas movies.
For more opinion on the state of Horror Thriller by
E.C.McMullen Jr.: SWIMMING WITH THE POND SCUM
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