UTTER CRAP

HOME REVIEWS FEO'S STORE FEO AMANTE THEATER SCIENCE MOMENT UNFAIR RACIAL CLICHÉ ALERT
FEO FEED BACK?
NEWS?
SUBMISSIONS?
Read:
SUBMISSION
GUIDELINES

MOVIES
FEO AMANTE THEATER
My Short Films
LAST CALL

THE NIGHT MY MONSTER DIED
SCIENCE MOMENT
TOP TEN SCARY MOVIES
UNFAIR RACIAL CLICHÉ ALERT
RACIAL CLICHÉ RESPONSE
INTERVIEWS

STORY TIME

COMICS

CONS

HORRIBLE NEWS
Movies Eddie McMullen Jr. Reviews by
E.C.McMullen Jr.

MOVIES THAT SUCK TOO MUCH
TO REVIEW ALONE

PARASITE - NETHERWORLD - THE FEAR

SHOULD YOU?
TIP JAR

Full Moon Pictures, Cult Video, A-PIX

So my brother and I decided to watch some movies distributed by Full Moon Releasing and A-Pix: PARASITE, NETHERWORLD, and THE FEAR.

Hey, it's a horror fest, right?

Fun stuff, right?

What crap

What utter crap


Parasite DVDPARASITE - 1982
USA Release: March 12, 1982
KOCH / Embassy Pictures
Rated: USA: R

Featured the talents of Demi Moore in her first (though not last) Horror movie.

It also featured the SFX talents of a young Stan Winston, who would later go on to much better things with John Carpenter's THE THING, THE TERMINATOR, ALIENS, PREDATOR, JURASSIC PARK, and so on.

Everybody else involved had somewhat less good fortune.

Otherwise this movie, about the world after nuclear war and a company that makes money off of the U.S. government, really sucked.

A government which somehow has money to spend despite there being no more taxes because the post-apocalyptic economy is in the hole, everyone is unemployed, and money is worthless

Parasite 3D
The original theatrical release was in 3D. Not that it helped.
At the end of humanity, the evil "company" (represented by a man wearing black and driving a black car) is making deadly parasites.

What on earth for?

No reason.

See the parasite on the 3D movie poster? The parasites don't look like that.

See the black Porsche on the DVD cover? In the movie it's a Lamborghini.

See the white guy on the DVD cover? He's also not in the movie, and neither is the M-16 / A-1 rifle, he's holding.

All of this adds up to a movie studio that has so much contempt for their potential audience they don't care that they are this sloppy. That sloppy contempt carries its way all through the movie.

So what is left?

What is in the movie is three minutes of totally unnecessary start time that the movie would be far better off without.

Aw who am I kidding? You'd be better off not seeing this movie at all. I refuse to review this any further.

The movie was originally made by Embassy Pictures / KOCH International and distributed by Full Moon and Cult Video. Avoid like the plague it's about.

PARASITE
DVD STREAMING
Parasite (1982) on IMDb

Netherworld
Cheesy flying hand effect? Check.
NETHERWORLD - 1992
USA Release: Feb. 6, 1992
Full Moon Entertainment
Rated: USA: R

Get your Nethers Together!

No, that probably would have been a better movie. Okay, this is what we've got here.

NETHERWORLD is the other movie which had Full Moon Picture's imprimatur.

Like all movies made directly by Charles Band/Full Moon, NETHERWORLD has outstanding production values, clean sound, gorgeous cinematography, expensive looking film stock, and nothing else.

Oh wait - it has T&A.

But if that's your meat you'll find more T&A in any number of direct to video lezzy schlock and shock fests. It also features a flying hand complete with cheesy strings and a poorly imitated PHANTASM flying ball effect. The effects come courtesy of Mark Shostrom (PHANTASM III, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3, EVIL DEAD II, DEEPSTAR SIX). Why this effect wasn't done better I chalk up to the director, David Schmoeller* (TOURIST TRAP), since Mark knows what he's doing.

The hand has teeny faces on its fingers that do pretty much the same job as the blades and drills on the silver balls of PHANTASM (same designer). This is not an homage, more of a fromage, and definitely a rip. The chrome flying balls are better, PHANTASM is way better, and didn't have half the slick look of NETHERWORLD.

When I think of all the good Horror stories that are out there that could be bought and made into half way decent Horror movies, I have to ask my self. "Why in the hell does Full Moon go wildly out of its way to make such miserable shit as this when they can just as easily afford to make something great?"

THE EVIL DEAD cost pennies to make. Likewise THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, PHANTASM and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD by George Romero. What's more, there are plenty more young film makers with wild ideas who don't crap a movie out with dishwater artistic endeavors that drag past the film gate forever.

NETHERWORLD
DVD STREAMING
Netherworld (1992) on IMDb

*
David Schmoeller hit a homerun with TOURIST TRAP, though in the DVD commentary to that movie, seems ashamed of it.

Too bad. The movie is a classic and has a decent cultish fanbase. The same cannot be said for anything David has done since. In fact, for either tax purposes or out of a sense of shame, David often makes movies for Charles Band under an assumed name.

For NETHERWORLD, fellow Texan David, born in Louisville, Kentucky, called himself "Billy Chicago".

The Fear
Pathetically obvious rubber suit doesn't help this crippled flick.
THE FEAR - 1995
Rated: USA: R


Is a 5 pound capacity bag filled with 20 pounds of shit.

Stuffed to overflowing with confused subplots and riddled through with plot holes, THE FEAR is a movie drowning in its inability to tell a good story.

That's too bad because this concept of a wooden mannequin that may or may not be alive is a good one (and reminiscent of PIN).

Piss-poor editing in the form of people's sentences being chopped before they complete them; buildups to nude scenes that were obviously filmed but then cut out, and jump cuts from day to night in the same scene leave THE FEAR as nothing more than broken pieces on the floor.

There is too much going on in THE FEAR that has nothing to do with the story. There are also too many distracting side scenes that take you completely out of the movie. Plus it earns an UNFAIR RACIAL CLICHÉ ALERT.

So very poor.

It does star Horror writer/Director Wes Craven in a walk-on role however. He was probably doing a favor for a fan. He's known to have a soft heart for young film makers.

THE FEAR
DVD
The Fear (1995) on IMDb

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE schlock! Troma is king! I adore Lloyd Kaufmann and Michael Herz! Even when their movies are tripe, they are also fun! There is no fun to be had in PARASITE, NETHERWORLD, or THE FEAR: They're just a drag. A boring drag. They make half-assed drink coasters though.

All the movies had DVD extras but nothing to write home about, especially if you were home when you saw them. I wasted about five hours of my life watching this crap, so I guess I should be grateful. Someone wasted more of their life making it than I did seeing it.

REMEMBER: We watch the crap so you don't have to.

KILL THESE MOVIES BEFORE THEY BREED! (Oh wait, THE FEAR did spawn THE FEAR 2)

Shriek GirlsNegative Shriek Girl
This review copyright 2002 E.C.McMullen Jr.

UTTER CRAP
CRAP MOVIES
II
CRAP MOVIES
III
CRAP MOVIES
IV
CRAP MOVIES
V

Return to Movies

E.C. McMullen Jr. is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

FEO AMANTE'S HORROR THRILLER Created by:
E.C.MULLEN JR.
COME FOLLOW ME -
AMAZON
BLOG
DEVIANT ART
ECMJR
FACEBOOK
IMDB
PANDORA
ROTTEN TOMATOES
STAGE32
TWITTER
YOUTUBE
ZAZZLE SHOP

 

LOVE THIS SITE?
Support it when you buy from

E.C. McMullen Jr.
WILLOW BLUE
Willow Blue
"'Willow Blue' will burrow under your skin and stay there long after you've put the book down."
- Jeffrey Reddick, Creator of
FINAL DESTINATION


PERPETUAL BULLET
Perpetual Bullet Paperback
"'Some People' ... may be the standout story in the book."
-
John Grant, Infinityplus

In Other Books
E.C. McMullen Jr.'s
short story
CEDO LOOKED LIKE PEOPLE
in the anthology
FEAR THE REAPER
Fear The Reaper
"This Ray Bradbury-esque is one of the most memorable and one of the more original stories I've read in a long time."
- Amazon Review

HORROR 201: The Silver Scream
PAPERBACK

Horror 201: The Silver Scream
Filmmaker's Guidebook
featuring
RAY BRADBURY,
JOHN CARPENTER,
WES CRAVEN,
TOM HOLLAND,
E.C. McMULLEN Jr.,
GEORGE A. ROMERO,
and many more.

Extensively quoted in
Phantasm Exhumed
PHANTASM EXHUMED
The Unauthorized Companion


Robert S. Rhine's
SATAN'S 3-RING CIRCUS OF HELL
Satan's 3-Ring Circus of Hell

Forward by
GAHAN WILSON &
FEO AMANTE.
Featuring comics by
ALEX PARDEE,
WILLIAM STOUT,
STEVE BISSETTE,
FRANK DIETZ,
JIM SMITH,
FRANK FORTE,
ERIC PIGORS,
MIKE SOSNOWSKI,
OMAHA PEREZ,
DAVID HARTMAN,
STEVEN MANNION,
and more!

Also
IN CINEMA
E.C. McMullen Jr.
HEAD PRODUCTION DESIGNER
Mine Games
MINE GAMES
(Starring:
JOSEPH CROSS, BRIANA EVIGAN,
ALEX MERAZ)

Dept. head
SPECIAL EFFECTS MAKE-UP
(SFX MUA) and Michael Madsen's stunt double on the movie

A Sierra Nevada Gunfight
A SIERRA NEVADA GUNFIGHT
(MICHAEL MADSEN & JOHN SAVAGE).

PRODUCTION DESIGNER
Universal Dead
UNIVERSAL DEAD
(DOUG JONES,
D.B. SWEENEY,
GARY GRAHAM)

ART DIRECTOR
The Crusader THE CRUSADER
(COLIN CUNNINGHAM,
GARY GRAHAM)

I will take you home...Feo Amante's Horror Home Page, Feo Amante's Horror Thriller, and feoamante.com are owned and
Copyright 1997 - 2018 by E.C.McMullen Jr.
FAIR USE - PRIVACY POLICY - OWNERSHIP - CONTACT
All images and text belong to E.C.McMullen Jr. unless otherwise noted.
All fiction stories belong to their individual authors.