MEGALODON - 2004
Corbitt
Digital Films LLC / Monarch Home Video
Rating: PG-13 |
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Geeks love the Discovery Channel. My kind is fascinated by science documentaries
in general and certain fields of science in particular. We love space
travel documentaries, we love history documentaries and we loves us some
dinosaur documentaries. That's why if you asked the average geek a question
about a T. Rex or a Triceratops, the odds are good you'd get more information
than you wanted. And if you asked the average geek, "What's a Megalodon?"
The answer would come back instantly: "The biggest, most dangerous
shark that ever lived."
MEGALODON was directed by Pat Corbitt (his first time directing)
and written by Gary J. Tunniclife (GUARDIAN) and Stanley Isaacs (LAST GASP). It opens
with a big chunk of exposition disguised as a news broadcast. There's
a couple of quick stories about shark attacks and the oil shortage (mini-science
moment: there is no oil shortage) followed by a detailed report
on Peter Brazier (Robin Sachs: JURASSIC
PARK II), CEO of Nexecon Oil. Brazier's company has just finished
building Colossus, a huge, mostly automated oil rig in the North Sea.
The report concludes with a wild-eyed warning from an environmentalist that the "plates
are unstable" under Colossus and drilling could result in "environmental
holocaust". Of course that's just plain stupid - the oil rig may
look huge on a human scale but compared to the crustal plates it's the
tiniest, most insignificant flyspeck - but that's what you should expect
from an environmentalist so it works.
The story cuts to the arrival (by helicopter) of reporter
Christen Giddings (Leighanne Littrell) and
her trusty cameraman Jake Thompson (Fred Belford)
at Colossus. Brazier greets them and gives them the grand tour, which
includes introducing them to the really small crew that runs this huge
facility. Ross Eliot (Al Sapienza: GODZILLA/span>)
and Maz Zablenko (Jennifer Sommerfield: TERRIFIED),
the two sub drivers, are the most colorful.
Okay, so we've got a bunch of people on an oil rig way out in the ocean in a movie
we know from the title is about a giant shark. I wonder where the shark
will come from? No sooner than you can say, "drill into a giant underground
cave", does a wide variety of long extinct sea life begin pouring
out. Unfortunately it takes rather a long time before said sea-life includes
the eponymous big fish. A lot of this time is spent making trips up and
down to the sea bottom in a huge glass elevator in what was a pretty cool
cgi effect the first time I saw it but after the third or fourth trip
had lost its edge.
But one thing that will never lose its edge is the
!!!SCIENCE MOMENT!!!:
The Megalodon (which means "big tooth")
is related to the Great White shark but it was quite a bit bigger: anywhere
from 60 to 80 feet long.
Continued at SCIENCE
MOMENT/Megalodon
The acting
ranges from the excellent (Robin Sachs as Brazier)
to the decent (Al Sapienza as Eliot) to standard
low budget sci-fi flick awful (everybody else).
And I did like that the oil company was portrayed as misguided, not cartoonishly
evil as has become common in so many other movies, although it is a little
hard to believe that they spent billions building this rig but didn't
take the time to do the kind of seismic surveys that certainly would have
revealed the giant cave.
Another
thing that's notable, mostly for its absence, is decent background music
to heighten the tension and some appropriate sound effects to go along
with all the CGI visuals. Many of the scenes with the big shark seem lifeless
as a result. And as is always the case where the monster is in the water
in a monster movie, you need to have a reason for people to be in the
water so the monster is threatening. Often this is contrived although
it's not as truly bad as, say, DEEP BLUE SEA.
Adding up the good and the bad, I have to give this movie two shriek girls. I wanted
it to be more. Science geeks like me are eagerly waiting for somebody
to make a decent movie about Megalodons. But this ain't it.
This review
copyright 2004 E.C.McMullen Jr.
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