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CAVEATS - These ancient and well-worn ideas are all based on box office successes, although there are those box office successes that never used them. However, be mindful of both the traps and gold coins in your path. 1. Repent/Regret Regardless of Alien, Mutant, Monster, Maniac or Machine, the overall driving Evil - that is, what starts the shitshow in the first place, is an EVIL Scientist, an EVIL Capitalist Corporation, an EVIL Capitalist Government, or any combination. Dying/defeated Scientist or Boss may be given the grace of realizing his/her folly (My God, what have I done?) and regret/repent. Also known as the FRANKENSTEIN play (20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, MOTEL HELL). Dying/defeated Representative(s) of EVIL Capitalist Corporation or EVIL Capitalist Government may be given the grace of realizing his/her/their folly and regret/repent when they realize they put their own Mother/Spouse/child/children in harm's way (My love, what have I done?): Also known as the METROPOLIS play. Otherwise they stay Evil and either get what's coming to them (RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, BLADE RUNNER, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA), or are the gateway for the sequel (THE FLY II). Because Hollywood studio writers are often uneducated in science, they cannot tell the different between Science and Alchemy, and so will have people dodging bullets, dodging laser light, outrunning explosions, Sound In Space, and technology that can call forth ghosts and evil spirits because... well, just because is all! 2. Final Girl There are no Final Guys because since the 1980s that makes the movie misogynistic. However, the Final Girl may be accompanied by a Final Guy if that Guy is Examples: FRIDAY THE 13th was labeled misogynistic by many movie critics of its era including Chicago critic, Gene Siskel. F13 had two Final Girls but one killed the other. PREDATOR was nearly misogynistic until rescue helicopter arrived with Exposition Girl safely inside. John Carpenter's THE THING had no gals in danger because there were no gals at all, and so was often labeled misogynistic. 3. Plot Holes The fact that some movies embody more than one scenario, and so create plot holes with inconsistent logic or characterization, happens often enough that its clear that such lunacy is never a red flag for box office disaster. Yet movies containing multiple conflicting scenarios are nearly always the reason for box office poison regardless of the quality of the hired crew. The same goes for books and the same goes for many movies made from those books.
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1: Slashers dominate this arena but its also the home of murderers with "inventive" kills. In the first 5 minutes of this story/movie, a teenager or two gets killed for no explicable reason, likely after sex or the suggestion that he or she or both have had sex or want sex: Fornication. If the two people engaged in sex are adults, then one or both of them are married to someone else: Adultry. Examples: THE RETURN OF DOCTOR X - A BAY OF BLOOD - BLACK CHRISTMAS - HALLOWEEN - FRIDAY THE 13th - I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER Movies that buck the trend: AMERICAN PSYCHO - SAW HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1a: In the first 5 minutes of this tale, a girl is mocked, teased, brutalized after enjoying her first taste of adult freedom away from the folks.
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1b: However, where Varmints are concerned, the young person may be killed simply for being an unpopular nerd who dresses funny. Anywhere from 24 hours to 24 years later, a bunch of people are brutally hunted down in their house, home town, cruise ship, theme park, by one or a mess of varmints for no apparent reason. Scientists working for an EVIL Corporation or EVIL local government officials, despite warnings from a befuddled engineer or stalwart cop, ignore the peril until its too late. Ambitious Politician or Capitalist may have accidentally created it or discovered it. He (usually) is with an EVIL scientist. If an EVIL Corporation is involved, then the scientist is downgraded from Evil to Stupid/Obtuse. Local government may also be bought off by EVIL Corporation. Examples: THEM - KILLER SHREWS - THE PLANET OF THE APES - WESTWORLD - ALIENS - ARACHNAPHOBIA - THE BLOB - THE FLY II - ALIEN RESURRECTION - JURASSIC PARK - DEEP RISING - DEEP BLUE SEA - EIGHT-LEGGED FREAKS - PIRANHA - PROMETHEUS - ALIEN COVENANT Movies that buck the trend (Three or more saved): KING KONG, THE BIRDS, QUATERMASS AND THE PIT, TREMORS HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1c: In the first 5 minutes of this tale, a girl is brutalized and murdered. Period. If adults are murdered it's because Adultry is involved. Folks are killed immediately after sex or merely appearing sexual. The killer is hit, clubbed, beat with a bat (baseball bat kind) poked, whacked, shot, stabbed, set on fire, blown up, decapitated twice, melted in acid or hot liquid, burned to ash, ash is vaporized, vapor is atomized, atoms are poured in molten iron, all to no avail: he keeps coming until he disappears in time for the next sequel.* Examples: HALLOWEEN etc., FRIDAY THE 13th III etc., HELLRAISER etc., THE RING, THE PULSE, WHITE NOISE, Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN Movies that buck the trend: CHILD'S PLAY 
HORROR THRILLER Scenario 1d: This is the arena of the EVIL Capitalist Government or EVIL Capitalist Corporation. If EVIL Capitalist Corporation, the killer is an employee of the company, usually the Big Boss, Crazed or Stupid / Uncaring Scientist or minion of (FUTUREWORLD, THE TERMINAL MAN, ALIEN, HALLOWEEN III, SCARED TO DEATH, TERMINATOR 2, ALIENS, ROBOCOP, TOTAL RECALL, THE FLY II, SYNGENOR, JURASSIC PARK, THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR, VENOM). If EVIL Capitalist Government, the killer is a criminally stupid government scientist who set off a chain of events, or an assistant or intern to a Senator - likely killing out of protective loyalty / love for the Senator (THEM, THE DEADLY MANTIS, THE HOST). If EVIL Capitalist Corporation and Government combo, the killer is a captured alien / creation / robot / mutant, killing as it was known or created to do (COLOSSUS, PARASITE, HARDWARE, EVE OF DESTRUCTION, DEATH MACHINE, SPECIES, THE MIST, SUPER 8). In the first 5 minutes of this tale, a member of the staff is dead / dying / inconvenienced / or snuck up upon and murdered. Period. It has to be a Final Female (HALLOWEEN, ALIEN). If the final female is in any way so much as scratched by the assailant, film critics will deem the story misogynistic. If it's a male survivor, film critics will deem the story misogynistic and do a book tour - unless the male is a child of the Final Female. At least one Stupid Scientist will want to study the killer - not destroy him/it. At least one representative of the Evil U.S. Government or Corporation will want to destroy it before the press finds out, but save the blue prints/Owner's Manual/recordings. Monster will be destroyed but Evil entities that set it all in motion will remain for the next sequel where they will do the same thing again.* Examples: GREMLINS 2, DEATH MACHINE, THE HOST
In the first 5 minutes of this tale, someone will die or at least be spooked for no apparent reason. Anywhere from 24 hours to 24 years later, a new person or group of people will buy or rent or involve them self (selves) with a cursed something. The something is immaterial. It can be a new apartment, house, car, ring, lock of hair, swag or chotchkie, or even a person. But the person(s) is/are isolated by their circumstances. Inconvenient things will happen ranging from electrical appliances that fail to work properly, cell phones that don't get a signal, buggy computer operating systems, to doors and cabinets that fail to open or close properly. If this is a movie, loud crashing music "stings" that the person in the movie can't possibly hear, will substitute for scares. Sounds of echo-ye bricks hitting the floor will occur every time an out of focus someone passes by, even if that someone turns out to be friend, family, or pet. If this is a story you are writing, you'll have to work harder for the scares: No sound effects for you! The Father or Father figure will die or be rendered unhelpful in the act of saving the child/children. The Mother or Mother figure will live to save at least one of her children, but if one, then only the one that deserves it. Mother or Mother figure will abandon her child to stay with the varmint, if the varmint is also a child. This act may or may not save her living child. If both her children are already dead, tshe'll stay and die with them. Examples: THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, THE RING, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, DARK WATER. HORROR THRILLER Scenario 3: Science In the first 5 minutes of this tale, someone will die or at least see something explode for no apparent reason. Amazingly, Science Fiction Horror Thriller stories are the simplest because nearly all Hollywood screenwriters know as much about science as the 2004 Kansas Board of Education. On those rare occasions when a Science Fiction writer decides to write a Horror Thriller story, you get a much richer and more complex story. Also, because most Horror Thriller writers are so blithely ignorant of the most basic, fundamental science (i.e. reality), they invariably look upon it as evil and add a supernatural element. They can't help themselves, they are clueless. So here are the Horror Thriller Science stories as written by Horror Thriller authors.
Science 3a: An alien life form / mutant enters a human environment and is very friendly - at first. Unfortunately, some kindly guy, gal, folks must save it from a Stupid Scientist, or an EVIL U.S. Corporation that may be working with the EVIL U.S. Government. The alien must go to its galaxy hopping rescue ship, which will appear only for a Ronco (A Limited Time Only) at a place anywhere from one to 1,000 miles from where the alien is - but never exactly where the alien is. The alien helps the humans save it by using Supernatural Powers! There will be the introduction of an incompetent Evil Colonel or one star General who is inexplicably koo koo berries. Humanity will be saved by a supernaturally huge plot hole. Said Supernatural plot hole will reveal the alien powers are SO damn powerful that you will wonder why the varmint needed saving in the first place. Kindly guy, gal, folks, may be infected/impregnated by alien/mutant. Movie Examples: IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE, STARMAN, THE IRON GIANT, DISTRICT 9, SUPER 8, LIFE Science 3b: The good guys defeat the whatever by using it's Supernatural Powers against it (the DRACULA ploy), often involving a mirror or something shiny or two sticks held perpendicular (90 degree right angles) to each other. Dying scientist may be given the saving grace of realizing his folly/repenting. Examples: FORBIDDEN PLANET, IT CONQUERED THE WORLD, ALIEN, MUTANT, John Carpenter's THEY LIVE, DEEP STAR SIX, LEVIATHAN, ALIEN RESURRECTION, MIMIC, RELIC, PROMETHEUS, ALIEN COVENANT Movies that buck the trend: THE THING FROM OUTER SPACE, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED, John Carpenter's THE THING.
OR Science 3c: An alien life form/mutant enters a human environment and is very UNfriendly. Unfortunately, it kills some kindly folks while the EVIL U.S. Government tries to cover it up and destroy the unfriendly alien before it can kill more people. Scientists try to help. The alien may or may not have a misunderstood reason (though never a good reason) for being homicidal (that overworked "twist" may be considered creative, so tread lightly), but representatives of the EVIL U.S. Government will attempt to destroy the alien by racing the varmint to see who can kill the most people first. This is done because the cover-up is more important than human lives, even though the cover-up exists to save human lives. This ridiculous plot device on the part of the writer is glossed over with the introduction of a Colonel or one star General getting involved who is both incapable and inexplicably koo koo berries. Humanity may not be saved by a supernaturally huge plot hole. Examples: THEM, DEADLY MANTIS, ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS, KRONOS, THE CRAWLING EYE, THE CRAZIES, THE MIST, DREAMCATCHER, SUPER 8 OR Science 3d: EVIL / Stupid Scientists, working with an EVIL Government will bring about an alien invasion / mutant monster / world wide holocaust, making way for Supernatural aliens to try and dominate the earth. Local Yokels who are not scientists but have liberal art degrees will save the day or die trying. Noble high school graduates, old folks, and minorities will heroically throw their bodies into harm's way so that the coffee shop crowd with rebellious hair and make-up can get away to live and to kvetch another day. High school drop-outs and trailer trash will save the day or join the remaining Evil Scientists and Evil Government Representatives in welcoming our Evil Supernatural Masters. Examples: THE STAND, MARS ATTACKS! HORROR THRILLER Scenario 4: The Usual Suspects WEREWOLF/WOLFMAN - ZOMBIES - And remember above all else: While many writers are substance abusers, substance abusers are
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INTERVIEWS Matt Jarbo's interview with Feo Amante at The Zurvivalist. James Cheetham's Q&A with Feo Amante at Unconventional Interviews *. Megan Scudellari interviews Feo Amante and Kelly Parks (of THE SCIENCE MOMENT) in The Scientist Magazine. Check out our interview at The-Scientist.com. REFERENCES Researcher David Waldron, references my review of UNDERWORLD in the Spring 2005, Journal of Religion and Popular Culture entry, Role-Playing Games and the Christian Right: Community Formation in Response to a Moral Panic (downloadable pdf). E.C. McMullen Jr.
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