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So shifty it needs its own separate article: Read the story behind the curious and unsupported "facts" as presented by the anti-drug U.S. government site, Media Campaign
Feo let's them hang by their own non-hemp rope in
TEEN POT USE

 

NEWS ARCHIVE
OCTOBER / NOVEMBER 2001

 


CULLED FROM THE BOWELS OF:
News Resources

ABCNEWS.COM

ANANOVA.COM

BBCNEWS

CBSNEWS.COM

CNN

FOXNEWS.COM

INFOBEAT.COM

myway.com

MSNBC.COM

NEW YORK TIMES

REUTERS

 

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THE HARDCORE
REAL SITES OF REAL EXTREMISTS AND THEIR REASONS

Home site of the #1 False Prophet of the world, Hal Lindsey! He's had so many of his prophecies crap out that now he only prophecizes about things that will happen long after he's dead and doesn't have to humiliate himself anymore. and he STILL has his followers!
HALLINDSEY ORACLE.COM

Neal Horsely is neither racist or sexist, but he is a Christian man who feels that he is witnessing a great evil: Human Abortion.
This is the site that provides a HIT LIST for would be murderers of Abortion Clinic Doctors. Think this site is totally evil? You may be right. But now you have the opportunity to form your own opinion instead of just having it spoon-fed to you.

CHRISTIAN GALLERY.COM

Michael Jackson used to look black, but thanks to numerous surgeries, he's white (and possibly female). David Duke (now living in France) used to look Jewish, but thanks to numerous surgeries, HE's white! Read what new tricks this former KKK Wizard, (and still pal of former klansman, Sen. Robert Byrd [D]), with his poofy little doggie, is up to. The way he gushes over us white folk is enough to make me blush!
DAVID DUKE

Another prissy and effeminate hate monger - only he don't like my kind! In the interest of equal time I did my damndest to find a site by Louie, but no cigar. Here is the only thing I could find. Louie in his own words.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN

He made a movie about his trials and tribulations in promoting his book, DOWNSIZE THIS. The film, THE BIG ONE, was hailed by critics, but since it trashed liberal businesses (like Nike) and the Clinton administration, it was crushed by the distributor, Miramax, which only released it to 33 theaters (according to the imdb.com). Since then, to insure good distribution, Michael's curtailed both his freedom of speech and thought, making only movies frothing with liberalism and fanatically bashing everything else! Check out Michael Moore in his own words, but better save those webpages. He tends to erase his contradictions often.
MICHAEL MOORE

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OCT. 30, 2001

From ananova.com

ADULTS THINK TRICK-OR-TREATING IS BAD FOR 'KIDS'
It was good for us but its bad for you. Why? Because I said so.

NIMDA WORM REAPPEARS IN NEW GUISES
However, the new "Groucho Marx" disguise is fooling nobody.

MAN ARRESTED 'FOR RINGING CIA TO BLAME THEM FOR JFK'S DEATH'
Still touchy after all these years.

DRUG REFORMS 'WILL NOT LEAD TO CANNABIS CAFES'
But lead instead to Cannabis Superstores! Which will cause competing chains to make "something stronger".

RESEARCHERS SAY SPERM IS SEASONAL
So remember that this allergy season and don't borrow your friend's hanky.

 

From abcnews.com

CALLING HOUDINI'S GHOST
Harry still refuses to speak to the frauds and charlatans he despised in life.

BRITNEY SAYS NEW CD WILL HAVE SPRINKLING OF 'HELL'S AND 'DAMN'S
-Sigh-, before September 11, this was the crap we used to care about.

ANTHRAX-ZAPPING BEAMS COULD HURT YOUR MAIL
It will kill your Teddy Ruxpins and digi-Pets, yet, makes your Sony Robo Dogs inexplicably horny.

From infobeat.com

EATING GARLIC CAN HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT
Of course, your new physique isn't going to impress anyone once they get a whiff of your breath.

BAYER'S CIPRO DROPPED AS FIRST CHOICE
Many drug companies contract out the manufacturing of their pills to other companies, but while Bayer AG has been pussyfooting around, trying to get "sweetheart deals" for the manufacture of Anthrax fighter, Ciprofloxacin, the CDC has discovered a better drug: doxycycline. Doxycycline is generic too, so no one owns it and everyone can make it and it will cost far less to buy. So thanks for acting like Tony Soprano, Bayer, but we don't need ya!





BRITNEY TELLS PARENTS: DON'T BUY MY ALBUM
Shit! Okay! Let's get this out of the way.
Britney says that her latest album is so raunchy that parents shouldn't buy it for their children. Yeah, right. Hey Britney! If underage girls don't get your album then who will? Yer a "Pop Diva" for chris'sakes! Nobody with anything bordering on maturity is listening to you. The only people getting off on you are pre-pubscents, adolescents, and middle aged men. My friends like to watch your videos with the sound off but that ain't nothing to do with your singing, nasty pastiche?

Britney says that her new album will contain the words "Hell" and "Damn". WHOA! That's raunchy all right! So just why is Britney singing these - ahem - nasty lyrics?

"When I say 'hell' and 'damn,' I say it out of frustration in my songs." quoth the Diva.

As in "Hell! I've got everything I wanted at the age of 16!" As in "Damn, but I'm rich and every man wants to f*ck me!" (*remember, Britney only gets raunchy by saying "Hell" and "Damn".) Although her music videos on MTV have nice simulated sex scenes of her getting gang-banged by all her male dancers, Britney insists that she is also going to "wait" to have sex with her N*Sync boyfriend. Hey pal, ever see the movie, SAVING SILVERMAN? You should!

Personally, I don't mind that she likes to act like a slut. Sluts are cool and it worked for Madonna. On the other hand, Madonna is intelligent and never tried to bullshit us.

So thanks for your charity work, Britney, but if you don't stop talking like a loopy dipshit you are going to wind up being a joke like Michael Jackson.

IS BRITNEY STILL A VIRGIN?
What the . . .? Hey who gives a shit? Move on to something else infobeat!

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OCT. 19, 2001

From infobeat.com

DEMS URGE CONDIT NOT TO RUN AGAIN
Unless, of course, it's as a Republican.

EPA TO PARENTS: PUFF OUTSIDE
News for those smoking parents who are too remarkably stupid to even HAVE children.

AOL TIME WARNER EARNINGS, REVENUES RISE
And with a software that's nearly impossible to remove from your Windows computer once you've installed it, no wonder its #1!

SHANNON ELIZABETH: I'D STRIP FOR THE NET
So what's stopping her? Shannon says that she would only strip and have sex on the net if she were poor. While she wholly encourages poor people to have sex on the net for money, Shannon won't do it because she is rich, and apparently too good for what she thinks poor people should do.

HIJACKERS' CREDIT CARDS STILL IN USE
And even though they are dead, all the U.S. credit companies STILL give them a higher rating than you! Your credit history is more suspect than the credit history of a DEAD TERRORIST! How is THAT for perspective?

 

From ananova.com

EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY STILL OFFICIALLY A GIRL AFTER MIDWIFE'S MISTAKE
This is actually true! The boy remains a boy despite the midwife's confusion. But the Chilean Civil Registry director, Omar Assef, says, "If the medical staff put it's a girl, then it's a girl. It doesn't make a blind bit of difference to us if the kid's got a boy's name."

Now the boy has to go to court, strip and wag his penis to the assembled adults to show that he is, despite the red tape, a boy! For this piece of bone-headed lunacy, Omar wins our Stupid-As-A-Box-Of-Rocks Award!


AP PHOTO: Abdul Salam Zaeef
"Oy Vey! Did I ever pick the wrong side!"

TALIBAN SET TO PROPOSE NEW CEASEFIRE PLAN
New plan doesn't offer up Osama bin Laden or do much of anything else other than beg the U.S. to "Please stop that infernal racket!"

Before presenting the plan to the U.S., Abdul Salam Zaeef, (in picture on the left) will first present his plan to Pakistan. "You like my plan? What you think? Its good plan?"

In case you haven't noticed it on the news yet, the Taliban's bargaining skills are for shit.

From cbsnews.com

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A WAR MAKES
New musical seeks Broadway Support

SOCIAL SECURITY HIKE ON TAP
About 50 million Social Security recipients will get a meager 2.6 percent raise in their allowance. This is done, says Washington, because inflation is so low.

CONSUMER INFLATION JUMPS
Meanwhile, the real world continues without Congress' notice.

 

From foxnews.com

INFECTION FESTS
New party idea does not receive expected enthusiasm.

 

From abcnews.com

GERM WARFARE FACTORY
The new fun toy from Play-Doh!

TINY CAMERA COULD BOOST BREAST CANCER TREATMENT
The NipplCam is not only a technological marvel, but its intensely interesting too!

SEX DRIVES GO UP AFTER TERRORIST ATTACKS
Which just goes to show that there is almost NOTHING that is ALL BAD!

MAJOR CARRIERS PLAN TO RETURN TO PROFITABILITY
Hey! Thats a GREAT plan! Why didn't the major carriers ever think of that before???

AVIATION SECURITY FIRMS INCREASE PAY TO CURB HIGH TURNOVER
Hey! Thats a great plan too! All those fees paid out to advisors from "Over-Obvious-To-The-Most-Casual-Observer, Inc." is money well spent!

TERROR-WARY TOURISTS TAKING TO WOODS, FRESH AIR INSTEAD OF FLYING
Which is a diplomatic way of saying that tourists are "Heading For The Hills!"

TALIBAN UNYIELDING, BUT CHINA WARMS TO BUSH
So if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

TERROR PRANKSTERS FACE HARD TIME
You're going to the federal pen for 5 years! Think of all the "pranks" that get played there! Won't YOU have fun?

ANTHRAX WORM FAILS TO DELIVER
As morons, unclear on the concept, try to send the anthrax virus by email.

NEW GERMAN LAW TO BOOST RIGHTS FOR PROSTITUTES
Now German Prostitutes are legally entitled to turn away customers and say no to certain sex acts. I kid you not! This one is for real! They actually had to make a law in Germany so that Prostitutes could just say NO!

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OCT. 18, 2001

From cbsnews.com

INTERNET TAX BAN TO EXPIRE
States ready to move in and destroy the Internet with taxes. Think your state taxes are being wasted too much already? You have no idea what your local yokel state governments are planning to foolishly waste your money on; and it won't lower the taxes you already pay!

BABOONS SMARTER THAN WE THOUGHT?
Or are we just dumber than we thought?

NO GROWTH FOR OZONE HOLE
This sad market news may precipitate a number of lay-offs from the ozone donut hole chain.

From foxnews.com

JACKO IS BACKO
After spending millions of dollars on plastic surgery so he can look like a burn victim.

COPS: BUS HIJACK THWARTED
By the passengers no less! And this ain't the first time passengers have gone ballisitc since September 11. This is the future gang. Anyone who tries to hijack a vehicle in the U.S. is gonna get their ass's kicked but GOOD!

DUCK AND COVER IN CONGRESS
A hideously bad response to finding anthrax in your mail.

From abcnews.com

ELTON JOHN QUESTIONS THE DALAI LAMA'S SILENCE
But the Lama, still ain't sayin' nuthin'!

FIERY NASA HEAD STEPS DOWN
Daniel Goldin announced his resignation Wednesday, much to the relief of the few remaining top people at NASA. During his 9.5 year tenure and his motto of Faster, Better, Cheaper, Goldin will be remembered for the following.
NASA became a joke.
NASA couldn't land a space vehicle on Mars, though they often crashed on or missed Mars due to poor math and worse communication.
They finally decided to just crash vehicles on Mars.
NASA became a bigger joke.
Goldin became so worried over his own incompetence - and being showed up - that he trash talked any companies that tried to go into space without the help of NASA.
Thanks to Goldin, NASA was bested by the Russians again when the first tourist in space was on board a Russian craft, not a U.S. craft, even though the passenger was a U.S. citizen. Goldin accused said tourist of being a traitor because the man had found a way around Goldin's power-mad bureaucratic blockade.
NASA went beyond joke and just became pathetic.
The largest drain of the best and smartest people (so-called "Brain Drain") NASA has ever had is thanks to Goldin's ham-handed managerial style and overwhelming inadequacy.
China will now, most likely, build the first habitats on the Moon despite NASA having a 40 year headstart on them.
Researchers say that NASA is 10 years behind, technologically speaking.
NASA has gone into a $4.5 billion overrun for its space station program.

During his resignation speech, Goldin said, "I find that I get such intellectual satisfaction and such personal satisfaction from the job that it drives me."

The idea that Goldin even knows where to find the word "intellectual" in a dictionary, let alone in his personal life, sent most of his employees into spasms of laughter. Goldin admitted to the Brain Drain at NASA by saying "So be it."

"Let them eat cake," would have been another good one.

Goldin also said, "You want to know something? If you come to a job like this and love to be loved, you will never do the right thing, I not only have no apologies, but I am thrilled with the performance (of NASA)."

Well, Goldin wasn't loved and he never did the right thing, although he may have stumbled over it once or twice. Even a stopped watch is right twice a day. Research has shown, however, that employees who care and respect their boss are far more likely to do their work to the best of their abilities, than those who niether like or respect their bosses. So much for Goldin's theories. Thanks for nothing Goldin. And be sure to get out before that 4.5 billion dollar debt is due.

ANTHRAX, SEBASTIAN BACH PLAN NYC BENEFIT
But will New York really welcome Anthrax into their city?

 

NEWS ARCHIVE
NOVEMBER, 2001

NOV. 28 , 2001

From abcnews.com

ENRON'S DEATH SPIRAL
Well known scumbags, Jeffrey K. Skilling and Kenneth Lay (ask any Californian who remembers Spring 2001 and President Bush's good buddy sneering as he held California citizens hostage for power), Both in charge of Enron during its ever-so-brief peak in 2000 and devastating fall ever since, are now seeing all their chickens coming home to roost - and it couldn't happen to a nicer pair of guys.

Was it really just a few short months ago when Lay and Skilling were appearing on one magazine cover after another, praising themselves in one interview after another and justifying their obscure reasons for trying to cripple the economy of California with arcane blither?

Now we see that Kenneth was merely riding the tide of having his good friend in the highest public office, pulling strings for the sake of cronyism. Bad news for America was good news for Bush when the twin towers were attacked; in that George Bush Jr., like Rudy Guilliani, had greatness thrust upon him. Bush and Guilliani appear to have found, in this dark time, the hero within them (that dwells within nearly all of us). Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling, on the other hand, are of those few soulless people who only have a foul grease spot in place of that thing we call character.

Now their gross incompetence and mismangement have been revealed and Enron has crashed from its hyped height.

 

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