Review by Kelly Parks

STARSHIP TROOPERS - 1997 Tri-Star Pictures Rating: USA - R

Robert Heinlein. The mention of the name makes some of you smile and nod. You know what a great writer he was. Like me, you had your mind expanded by his stories: science fiction that contained radical new ideas. And of those stories, the Hugo Award winning STARSHIP TROOPERS is one of the most memorable. It contains original concepts, hard science, unusual politics and great adventure. Ah, yes.

And then I heard Paul Verhoven (ROBOCOP, TOTAL RECALL, HOLLOW MAN) was making it into a movie. I had . . . mixed feelings.

STARSHIP TROOPERS was directed by Mr. Verhoven and written by Edward Neumeier
(ROBOCOP, ROBOCOP [TV]). It begins with a recruiting commercial for Federal Service (done in a newsreel / government propaganda / internet style) that establishes that the story is in the future and that Earth is involved in an interstellar war. The commercial ends with the promise that “service guarantees citizenship.” What does that mean? Excellent, intriguing opening! I was only a minute into the movie and I was feeling pretty good.

I should have savored that good feeling because it was all downhill from there. The next segment discusses a “bug meteor” attack on Earth. I’ll resist the temptation to give you an extended astronomy lecture about all the things the movie gets wrong and just leave it at this: it’s all wrong. Clearly Verhoven and Neumeier don’t have the first clue about what space travel, stars, solar systems, you name it are actually like. Even Star Wars had better science and Star Wars seriously sucked in the science department.

The reason this is important (aside from the fact that it makes Verhoven look like an uneducated moron) is what a genuine insult this movie is to the memory of Robert Heinlein. Heinlein was well known as one of the first “hard core” science fiction writers: he went to great efforts to GET THE SCIENCE RIGHT. I am truly amazed that Heinlein didn’t rise from the dead and strangle Verhoven with his cold, lifeless hands (talk about poor science! -feo).

So, okay, I thought. The science is going to suck. But STARSHIP TROOPERS was also about some fairly radical political ideas. Let’s see if Verhoven can at least get that part right.

Monsanto can talk all the shit they want about their pesticides, but when it comes to REALLY getting rid of insects, put your faith in a firearm!

The final segment in the introductory news cast shows a reporter accompanying an invasion force landing on the enemy home world: Klendathu. This invasion turns out to be a big mistake and the enemy quickly turns the tables on the human invaders, resulting in one dead reporter. The actual bugs are very cool and genuinely scary and Verhoven’s trademark gore is splattered everywhere.

We jump back to one year earlier. The hero of the book and the movie is young Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien: SLEEPY HOLLOW, THE OMEGA CODE), high school student. He’s sitting in his philosophy class where the failure of democracy is the topic of discussion. The teacher. Mr. Rasczak (Michael Ironside: SCANNERS, TOTAL RECALL, HEAVY METAL 2000) is a veteran of some previous conflict and is missing an arm as a result.

Rasczak tries to explain why the nations of the Earth collapsed and ended up under one federal government, but raging hormones keeps most of the kids from paying attention. Johnny stares longingly at Carmen Ibanez (Denise Richards: VALENTINE) and sends her a computer message on a surprisingly primitive computer, given that this is supposed to be at least a century in the future. Another poor choice on Verhoven’s part.

Class lets out and we learn that the story is taking place in Buenos Aires. That is where Rico lived in the novel, but I’m not sure why Verhoven bothered. Other than a few character last names there’s not a remotely Spanish feel to the people or the settings. Perhaps in 100 years Buenos Aires becomes indistinguishable from Southern California.

A whole planet to surround and fight and all the spaceships crowd together over one small area: too close to even get out of each other's way!

High school is coming to an end and the topic of discussion is whether or not to join the Federal Service. The Federated nations of Earth are a type of limited democracy. What that means is the only people who have the right to vote are those that complete a two-year term in the all volunteer military. You’re allowed to quit at any time (except during combat) but if you do you can never vote. If you stay in the military (go “career”) you also can’t vote. Only if you join, finish and become a civilian again does the franchise fall upon you. Heinlein’s idea here was that a democracy where the electorate consisted of people who wanted to vote bad enough to go through two years of hell would be more responsible than our anybody-who’s-18-and-has-a-pulse system. Plus the gist of their military experience, sacrificing yourself for the good of your fellow troopers, further instills good decision makers.

Then the humans are surprised when a single BugButtBomb takes out several of their craft with one shot. And we're debating whether or not the INSECTS are intelligent?

That was Heinlein’s theory, anyway. Over the years (the book was written in 1959) Heinlein was accused of a variety of political evils (including being called an elitist and a fascist) for the political ideas expressed here, and sadly Verhoven deliberately adds to that insult by giving the valiantly struggling humans a Nazi twist. The character Carl Jenkins ends up in military intelligence and is shown wearing a black Nazi S.S. uniform.

Rico’s wealthy parents are horrified that their precious son would risk death and dismemberment for something as unimportant as the right to vote, especially when he’s just doing it because his girlfriend Carmen joined. Johnny denies it but it couldn’t be more obvious. He ignores his parents’ wishes and joins the mobile infantry.

Denise Richards and Casper van Dien stare at a bug over Neil Patrick Harris' shoulder.

Boot camp is purposely made as difficult as possible in order to weed out the quitters. The new recruits learn that right away when drill sergeant Zim (Clancy Brown: THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION) challenges them to hand-to-hand and isn’t shy about breaking bones. Rico gets a Dear John from Carmen and makes a bad mistake on the training field that results in the death of a fellow recruit and lashes in the public square. He decides it’s time to quit, but then the bugs attack Earth by dropping a meteorite on Buenos Aires, killing millions including his parents. Now, it’s personal. What follows is a mixture of cool bug effects and stunningly bad science, which leads me to a

!!!SCIENCE MOMENT!!!:
Or maybe just a logic moment, since my main complaint (there are many more) here is an inconsistency within the movie’s pathetic attempt at real science. At one point characters begin debating whether or not the bugs are “smart.” This literally happens at one point, as two “experts” debate the idea of bug intelligence on a FedNet TV show. In other words these people weren’t sure if the bugs were a sentient species. Morons! The bugs have interstellar space travel, are able to attack space ships in orbit, and can target asteroids at Earth cities. They’re so obviously a sentient species that the very idea of a debate is stupid even within the movie’s other stupidities.

Here is a shot of the only time this movie is any good: During the battle scenes. Note the "futuristic" gun. This weapon design was old when the movie was made!

A big part of the problem here, aside from Verhoven and Neumeier’s 4th grade education, is a failure to decide what kind of movie this is supposed to be. Sometimes it tries to be very serious and other times it’s cartoonishly over the top. The two styles don’t mix and if Verhoven had just picked one and went with it he’d have earned an extra shriek girl. The one positive thing I can say about Verhoven is to thank him for keeping his creative hands off the cartoon TV series ROUGHNECKS: The Starship Troopers Chronicles. It’s loosely based on Verhoven’s movie but is much closer to the novel. Verhoven is listed as the executive-producer and I know he mostly kept his hands off the TV series because it’s actually good. STARSHIP TROOPERS has a few cool scenes but otherwise it’s a mess and a cinematic insult to Robert Heinlein’s legacy. I give it one negative shriek girl.

This review copyright 2002 E.C.McMullen Jr.

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