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THE PLANET OF THE APES - 1970
20th Century Fox
RATINGS: Finland: K-16 / Germany: 12 / Sweden: 15 / UK: PG/ USA: G
Does anybody out there have Check Heston's home phone number? Anybody? No? Too
bad, because I'm pissed and I want him to know why.
PLANET OF THE APES, despite a lot of science mistakes and some plot loopholes you could drive career through, was a cool movie. And one of the cool
things about it was it made you wonder what happened next. At the end
of PLANET OF THE APES, when Charleton Heston
(SOYLENT GREEN, THE OMEGA MAN, PLANET
OF THE APES ) as crashed astronaut Colonel George Taylor
rode off on horseback, accompanied by the lovely but mute Nova (Linda
Harrison), you couldn't help but wonder what happened next? Personally,
I wanted more details about this world. Ape City can't be the only ape
community. Are there nations? Where are their factories, since they clearly
have a roughly 19th century level of technology?
BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES, directed by Ted Post (NIGHTKILL,
[TV] Boris Karloff's THRILLER) and written by Paul Dehn (ESCAPE
FROM THE PLANET OF THE APES, CONQUEST OF THE
PLANET OF THE APES) and Mort Abrahams (his only
writing credit), should have done this. But it didn't happen
because Heston didn't want to play anymore. He wanted out of the
whole PLANET OF THE APES storyline, so he
insisted on only a cameo appearance and he insisted that his character
be killed off.
The result is a movie that wastes a lot of time. A second spacecraft from 20th century
Earth crashes in the Forbidden Zone, carrying astronaut Brent (James
Franciscus: IL GATTO A NOVE CODE, KILLER FISH, L ULTIMO SQUALO [SHARK],
NIGHTKILL). Someone should sue the contractor because these spaceships
can travel at nearly the speed of light but they can't land worth a damn.
And why are they apparently homing in on the former location of New York
City? This can't be a rescue mission, because the people who launched
Taylor's original mission had to know that they'd never hear
from him or his crew on their millenia long voyage (which
makes you wonder why Brent tries to "raise Earth" on the radio
when he thinks he's light years away and knows he's 2000 years
in the future).
Director Ted Post went on to direct the truly wacked out cult classic, THE BABY, Dirty Harry: MAGNUM FORCE, the Chuck Norris mega-hit, GOOD GUYS WEAR BLACK, and NIGHT KILL.
Look for a very young John Landis (Director of AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, INNOCENT BLOOD, DEER WOMAN) as Jake's friend.
Writer Paul Dehn was far more adept and successful at writing action packed spy movies including:
ORDERS TO KILL,
IAN FLEMMING'S GOLDFINGER,
THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD,
THE DEADLY AFFAIR,
THE NIGHT OF THE GENERALS,
FRAGMENT OF FEAR,
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS. That said, he went on to pen all of the PLANET OF THE APES sequels.
See the Official 20th Century Fox
PLANET OF THE APES
Go to the
Official Website site.
In an eye-rolling coincidence, Nova happens to ride by the very spot where Brent has crashed
(The Earth is a big place. You do the math).
She was with Taylor, but he disappeared after strange visions of walls of fire and earthquakes appeared before them.
the time wasting part. Brent has to find out that humans are mute, that
apes can talk and rule the world, meet Zira (Kim Hunter: THE BLACK CAT, TWO EVIL EYES, THE KINDRED) and Cornelius (David Watson),
and generally run through a mini-version of the first movie, just so he's
up to speed. This is so obvious and so rushed that it's just annoying.
And this is why I'm pissed at Heston. If he'd stayed as the
central character, this movie could have cut out a huge chunk of exposition
(and cut out Brent) and gotten to the story
much quicker. I'm positive it would have been a vastly better film.
By another fortuitous coincidence, Brent arrives at Ape City just in time to hear
General Ursus (James Gregory: THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE)
giving a speech to his fellow Gorilla soldiers calling for an invasion
of the Forbidden Zone, on the theory that since humans sometimes come
from there, there must be a green, fertile region beyond the desert. During
this rabble rousing tirade, he makes the odd comment:
"I don't say all humans are evil simply because their skin is white."
Huh? Humans are a different species - why would he care or notice their
skin color? In the first movie one of Taylor's fellow astronauts
(Jeff Burton) was black and he ended up stuffed
in a museum. By the way, doesn't Ursus mean bear?
Anyway, the Gorilla military, lead by General Ursus, appears to be taking control
from the Orangutan administrators, lead by Dr. Zaius (Maurice
Evans: ROSEMARY'S BABY, TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM). After an ape
to ape discussion in the steam bath (apes can't sweat!) Zaius agrees to the General's plan to break religious taboo and send the army into the Forbidden Zone. Brent and Nova seek refuge there as well, and that's when we meet the mutants and, finally, Taylor.
And now let's meet a
I must talk about The Bomb. This weapon, worshipped by the mutant humans
of the future, is briefly described as a cobalt bomb. Brent and Taylor
take it for granted that this bomb can destroy the world but can that
be true? Well, sort of. It depends on your definition of "destroy."
You see adding cobalt to an H-bomb does not make the explosion bigger
- it makes the fallout worse; worse in the sense of staying radioactive
and deadly for many years instead of just a few months like a regular
nuke. For a good story about a cobalt weapon war
worst-case scenario, see ON THE BEACH.
at SCIENCE MOMENT/Beneath The Planet Of The Apes
movie has a slapped together feel to it, and the bizarre ending is often
complained about by fans of the series, but I thought it was fitting.
It keeps with the doomed nature of humanity theme common in Sci-Fi of
There are a few good scenes but after all is said and done, BENEATH
THE PLANET OF THE APES only gets 2 shriek girls.
copyright 1999 E.C.McMullen Jr.
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