ALIEN VS PREDATOR
20th Century Fox
Ratings: USA: PG-13
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When you've been reviewing movies for a while you learn a few things. You learn not
to bring your cell phone to press screenings because they'll confiscate
it so you don't secretly film the film and spread it around the internet
(which seemed silly until I bought a Treo 600 and realized I could do just that). You also learn that when a movie
either doesn't have press screenings or has them the day before the film
opens, that that's a bad sign. It means the studio thinks the film is
bad and doesn't want any advance reviews to kill the weekend box office.
So when I got invited to a screening the day before Alien vs. Predator
opened, I was nervous.
ALIEN VS PREDATOR (henceforth known as AVP) was written and
directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (EVENT
HORIZON, RESIDENT EVIL [all]).
Rumor has it that Anderson stepped down from directing the sequels to
MORTAL COMBAT and RESIDENT EVIL just so he could do AVP, a movie he's
wanted to do for many years.
The story opens with a Weyland Industries satellite in orbit (Weyland Industries, of course, is destined to become the Weyland-Yutani Corporation, better known as "the Company" in all the ALIEN movies). The satellite reports an odd heat signature near Antarctica.
Very quickly
we see a team being gathered by Weyland Industries representative Maxwell
Stafford (Colin Salmon: TOMORROW NEVER DIES, THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH,RESIDENT
EVIL, DIE ANOTHER DAY). The team includes rock climber and environmentalist
Alexa Woods (Sanaa Lathan: BLADE) and archeologist Sebastian de Rosa (Raoul
Bova), among others.
All are brought to a Weyland Industries ice-cutter on its way to an island near
Antarctica. Here the group is briefed by Charles Bishop Weyland (Lance
Henrickson: TERMINATOR, NEAR DARK, ALIENS, ALIEN 3). The
satellite photos show (in infrared) a huge pyramid buried beneath 2000 feet of glacier. Why the pyramid has suddenly
become hot is unknown but Weyland is convinced this is a critically important
discovery and he wants to be the first one there.
All this happens very fast. We just get a quick intro to the characters and a minimal
amount of exposition before the group arrives at the island and sets up
their equipment in an abandoned whaling station (mysteriously
abandoned a century ago). Their plan was to drill a tunnel down
to the pyramid but that turns out not to be necessary. Something has blasted
a perfect tunnel already - a tunnel that wasn't on the satellite photos
as recently as a day ago.
The movie doesn't leave us in suspense about what's going to happen. We see the
Predator ship approaching Earth and dropping off a few passengers and
we also see a certain vat deep inside the pyramid being warmed up. Three
species are about to collide.
Yes, I know.
You knew that from the trailer and what you really want to know is: Did
I like AVP? No, I didn't like it. I LOVED it! AVP delivers! Very fast pace, gets to the good stuff quick and hell, yes,
the creatures rock! The audience was gasping and hooting during several
of the action sequences. The title is not misleading because more than
once the Aliens and the Predators get it on, hand to claw.
Sure, there are some minor flaws, like the ease with which the archeologists read
the hieroglyphs and discover a whole lot of details about the situation.
And one flaw will actually require a
!!!SCIENCE MOMENT!!!:
The science in question is geography. The "island near Antarctica"
is called Bovetoya. This is a real island and is listed in the Guinness
Book of World Records as the most isolated island (bare volcanic rock covered with glaciers and rarely visited by anyone)
on Earth. But it's only "near" Antarctica if you think 1000
miles away is "near". The tip of South America is closer to
Antarctica than Bovetoya.
Back to the good stuff. I liked the fact that Anderson didn't add anything new
to the Alien life-cycle (certainly a temptation).
He just showed us the creatures we know and fear in action, and plenty
of it. AVP gets four shriek girls.
This review copyright 2004 E.C.McMullen Jr.
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